Sexual Fulfillment in marriage!by Jimmy Evans
Good, fulfilling, and satisfying sex is a very important issue in a marriage relationship. When couples get married, sex is one of the major features that they look forward to enjoying together. But sex is also an area of marriage that can cause confusion, misunderstanding, and frustration for couples who don't realize its importance from a Biblical perspective.
The birds and the bees
To find sexual fulfilment in our marriages, we must first understand God's design for sex. We were created by God as sexual beings. Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made according to Psalm 139:14. Part of the physical creation that God gave to us is the gift of sex. There are some people who may think that God tolerates sex just for the purpose of procreation, but that He doesn't expect us to enjoy it. That statement couldn't be farther from the truth. The wonderful pleasure that comes from sex is no mistake; God intended married couples to enjoy sex to its fullest. Although it's true that God intends us to enjoy one another sexually, there are certain parameters that we cannot ignore. The Bible states that sex outside of marriage is wrong. God intended for sex to be shared within a committed, God-centred relationship between a man and a woman. Anything apart from that is sin. Today, we hear many voices that say these Biblical standards are outdated and obsolete. People claim to have found freedom from the shackles of sexualrestraints by adopting an "anything goes" lifestyle and attitude related to sex.
The instruction manual
So how has this liberated attitude toward sex affected our society? Its proponents believe they have found freedom and satisfaction without consequence. But the consequences are very real, and the statistics are staggering. Today, an estimated one in five Americans is infected with a viral sexually transmitted disease. There are 900,000 new cases of HIV diagnosed every year in the U.S. Unwanted pregnancies result in 1.3 million abortions each year in America. Turning our backs on God's design for sex has produced a literal nightmare of disease and even death. God has given us sexual boundaries for our pleasure and also for our protection. When you purchase a new car, you are given an instruction manual from the manufacturer. The instruction manual gives guidelines on how to properly operate your new car so that you will gain the most satisfaction from it. Life also comes with an instruction manual ? the Bible. If we choose not to abide by the instructionsthat are given us in God's Word, then we cannot place blame on God when problems result.
A river of pleasure
The only place to find fulfilment in sex is within a relationship that is based on intimacy and trust. When you give yourself sexually to another person, it's important to know that this person is someone you can trust. That kind of trust is found only within the Biblical standard of a committed marriage relationship. In our world today, there are many who indulge in one-night stands and short-lived "flings." A sexual partner may say he or she is committed to you today, but tomorrow may be gone. Some people hold the belief that sex with one partner is boring and unsatisfying. Actually, the opposite is true. Research indicates that longevity of relationship
usually improves a couple's sexual satisfaction. In an article for Parade magazine (March 1994), Dr. Georgia Witkin, assistant professor of psychiatry and reproductive sciences at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, dispels the myth that
a long-term sexual relationship breeds discontent. She states, "Most long-term couples do not suffer from sexual boredom," adding that, "When it comes to sex, familiarity breeds contentment rather than boredom." God's wonderful plan for sex in marriage brings fulfilment with no risk of disease and the accompanying heartache. When a couple is practicing monogamous, heterosexual sex, disease is not even an issue. Sex outside of marriage is like drinking from a stagnant pond in which reside all types of fungus and bacteria. The next drink may bring you disease and even death. But sex within marriage is like taking a deep, refreshing drink from a pure, sparkling clean river that never runs dry.
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